Sometimes I Daydream Murder She Wrote Scenarios

Other times I wonder about the life choices that led up the the saxophone player’s haircut in Buckaroo Banzai.

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Chevy Chase Solutions

Here at Kid Miracle Shitter we take great pride in seeing ourselves as the Untied Nations of entertainment crisis.

We’re here to help.

We’re here to make friends.

67 year old part time actor and full time dry drunk Chevy Chase is as in touch with the type of audience Community appeals to as in touch gets.  We feel that it’s up to us to preserve his outstanding comedic range and mass youth appeal by zigging where others would zag.

Solution 1A- Keep the character of Pierce Hawthorne but replace Chevy the actor with a different guest star every week.  Young, old, black or white, the stars would line up to don the wig, glasses, and turtleneck.  Bob Odenkirk, Greg “the Hammer” Valentine, Tilda Swinton, etc.

Solution 1B- Community regulars Starburns and Magnitude murder Pierce Hawthorne in a porn shop parking lot.

It’s Okay To Not Like Yelawolf

You don’t actually have to like Yelawolf in order to like Yelawolf. You just have to err on the right side of the equation. Take for instance, that douchebag that shows up to like 1% of your social functions and when you get them talking to see if they speak the same language, he says something like

” Yeah, I listen to The Black Keys”

That poser couldn’t even name a Black Keys song, but you know what he’s all about; the babes residing in your scene. Who can blame him?

Well it’s high time you got yours. You’ll need to dig deep into the depths of wardrobe fuckery and accessorize a wifebeater shirt with a black scarf and wool cap. Forge a pair of cut off shorts and soak them in a tub of Corona overnight.

You’re going to the Yelawolf show, where they proudly serve restaurant quality ass.

The CDT Crew is Too Funky For Dynamite

These snack cake consultants and EPMD enthusiasts have a youtube channel than can aptly be described as ‘doper than dogshit’. Their uploads consist of media clips from a forgotten realm, spliced together to form a biblical code of new wave mutations.

Specializing in advanced party flomping, they invented a drink containing champagne, absinthe, and a wink of the eye.

 

 

Hell Ride is Doopid

Feel bad for anyone who was psyched to see Hell Ride after the post Kill Bill hype of hearing that Larry Bishop, Michael Madsen, and Quentin Tarantino would be involved in a violent road movie. Considering that Larry Bishop was also involved with the ultra shitty and unwatchable Mad Dog Time, it may be wise to question who’s money was used to get this movie made. You really have to put some kind of time, effort, and energy into a movie that stars Michael Madsen and Dennis Hopper and still have it turn out to be a runny dump. The pacing is wretched, the non story convoluted, and Tarantino wisely removed himself from this…”project”

To be fair, the entire genre of biker films aren’t really known for there quality entertainment. Even the most popular ones are typically so bad they’re good, and there best offering, Easy Rider, is an acquired taste. Let us take a moment to note that there current boy, Sons of Anarchy, is a terribly uneven soap opera.

If you really need your biker film fix, scratch that itch with a little bit of Werewolves on Wheels.