R.L Burnside Means It

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As exciting as it is to embrace the things that capture the pulse of right now, it’s also healthy to cleanse the pallet now and then. R.L Burnside owned a groove like to no other, and when he says I got an ass pocket of whiskey and a front pocket of gin, if you don’t open this door I’ll kick the mother fucker in…I believe him.

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So Good You Will Melt and Then You Will Reform Yourself

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Remember last year when your neighborhood just could not fucking get over King Tuff? Well Milk Music has returned at just the right time to make sure that shit doesn’t happen again.

Milk’s Music’s four piece ensemble of playful timing and arrangements are as fresh and crisp as ever, so  anyone who was willing to settle for just more of the same will be especially delighted. The guitar solos are as long, rich, and luxurious as one could possibly ask for, and it would not be a complete shock to find out that in the midst of one of these solos, Weezer’s Pinkerton  was played note for note in it’s entirety. The lyrics are both relatable and grande, with some of the tracks telling the story of any our lives, while other tracks speak to you on a mystical scale similar to the likes of Marc Bolan and J.R.R Tolkien.

Milk Music’s latest offering, Cruise Your Illusion, is probably the fourth best album of the year, if only because it’s more poetic to finish just out of the money.

The Fabulous Stains Now on Netflix

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Corrine “Third Degree” Burns (Diane Lane) and her all-girl punk band The Stains ( featuring a surprisingly chubby Laura Dern ) are given a chance to tour backing up a young English punk band The Looters (featuring Paul Cook and Steve Jones of The Sex Pistols,Paul Simonen of The Clash, and a surprisingly thin Ray Winstone) and an old washed up heavy metal band The Metal Corpses. They’re driven from one dingy show to the next by affable Rastafarian, Lawnboy, on a bus which on a good day might be held together with duct tape.

When the Stains new song ‘I’m a waste of time’ ends up garnering more attention than the veteran bands that took them in, everyone wants a piece of their next move. A next move that may be hard to come by from three girls with such limited life experience.

This isn’t an Oscar winner by any means, but it does have a certain charm to it. The performances seem to come off without a sense of self awareness. Seeing three punk legends just after the crash of punk mix it up with several up and coming actors, well that’s a god damn piece of time right there. Without revealing any spoilers, several social trends are conspicuously revealed before they actually took place in our real world. You may notice some similarities between The Stains and 2010’s The Runaways, but outside of Michael Shannon’s fun performance, The Runaways is just a bright, shiny, forgettable movie. The Stains display of culture and character will stick with you even though the pace and visual imagery may not be up 21st century standards.

Ladies and Gentlemen The Fabulous Stains had a very limited release in 1982 and has never been available on vhs or dvd due to so many reasons, that the amount of questionable tit on display is probably the least of the studio’s worries. Viewing this has been hit or miss, receiving brief play on late night cable and art house/ film festival revivals. All of that and the right word of mouth has only added to it’s cult status.

You can have a Super Bowl party if you want, but it’d be a whole lot cooler if set your projector to The Fabulous Stains.

Blaxploitation Space Opera

Most pimps have there hoes strung out.  One could assume that there is quite the profitable market  for running clean hoes, and one would be wrong because the underbelly set don’t take kindly to those who make waves on Planet Earth.

Picture The Black Hole, Flash Gordon, and the very best of the worst blaxploitation movies of the 1970’s as we introduce you to Pimp Goody Two Shoes…

he’s sorta like Jesus multiplied by Pi.