Samuel L. Jackson’s Wowee Zowee Torture Spectacular

In 2010’s intense psychological thriller Unthinkable, directed by Gregor Jordan, Samuel L. Jackson plays an FBI “consultant” who interrogates a bombing suspect that has intentionally allowed himself to be caught after announcing he has planted nuclear bombs in three American cities.

Unthinkable starts off as a very unassuming film, then slowly builds up the intensity and leaves you questioning your own moral boundaries. Starting with the standard police precinct scene of the movie, but in this case it’s the FBI head quarters, we are introduced to a would be terrorist played by Michael Sheen with his best poker face. FBI agent Helen Brody  is compelled to always take the moral high ground and is strongly played by Carrie-Anne Moss. Brandon Routh plays another member of the FBI team, and you know if a movie can make him seem passable as an actor then it really must have something going for it. Here Brandon isn’t given the opportunity ruin the whole show, and his presence comes off as adding a little bit of pop to the cast. The always fun to watch Stephen Root is the broker between the FBI and the shady Black Ops, his character is sort of the slippery “we were never here” type.

The whole movie goes next level after Samuel L. Jackson’s “H” is introduced. His performance as the interrogator is like Ordell Robbie with the I.Q of Hannibal Lecter. His actions go way beyond questionable methods, shocking both the viewer and the characters he interacts with.

Director Gregor Brown puts together a crisp thriller that leaves a lasting impression. Hopefully this is a sign of better things to come with him, as his other work, although flawed, certainly has it’s impressive moments.

It’s hard to fathom why a movie of this caliber has received so little fanfare. At the very least, the cringeable violence and touchy subject matter should sparked off a little bit of controversy or protest of some degree.  I guess when relevancy punches the bully in the mouth, the bully shuts the fuck up.

Chevy Chase Solutions

Here at Kid Miracle Shitter we take great pride in seeing ourselves as the Untied Nations of entertainment crisis.

We’re here to help.

We’re here to make friends.

67 year old part time actor and full time dry drunk Chevy Chase is as in touch with the type of audience Community appeals to as in touch gets.  We feel that it’s up to us to preserve his outstanding comedic range and mass youth appeal by zigging where others would zag.

Solution 1A- Keep the character of Pierce Hawthorne but replace Chevy the actor with a different guest star every week.  Young, old, black or white, the stars would line up to don the wig, glasses, and turtleneck.  Bob Odenkirk, Greg “the Hammer” Valentine, Tilda Swinton, etc.

Solution 1B- Community regulars Starburns and Magnitude murder Pierce Hawthorne in a porn shop parking lot.

Red Hill Will Cure What Ails Ya

In Patrick Hughs 2010’s contemporary western thriller Red Hill, True Blood’s  Ryan Kwanten plays Shane Cooper, a young city cop who takes up post in the type of small  Australian Outback town where people still run errands on horseback. He doesn’t make a very good first impression with his no nonsense new boss, Old Bill, when he forgets his firearm on the first day on the job. Shane has a lot on his mind what with the move and him and his wife Alice expecting a child. Soon he will have a lot more on his plate when news breaks that the town’s most notorious criminal, Jimmy Conway, has  escaped from prison and is thought to be headed their way with his spooky aborigine mojo.

Steve Bisley plays Old Bill and steals every scene he’s in with his tough talking lawman, and you may recognize him from the original Mad Max.  Tommy Lewis also puts in a sublime performance as the mysteriously motivated Jimmy Conway.

Red Hill doesn’t waste a moment with it’s tight direction and balanced pacing. Most of the movie takes place at night which plays into the mood that a movie like this should have.  Another aspect that really adds to the overall entertainment value of Red Hill, is the fact that it has both an excellent score, conducted by Dmitri Golovko, and, a solid soundtrack featuring some very fitting songs by American country bluesman Charlie Parr, who thus far can do no wrong in the book of Kid Miracle Shitter.

Red Hill is not breaking new ground in terms of content, but at the end of the day, you have to make healthy choices with your cinematic intake.

You can go and see Percy Warhammer and the Fuckers From a New Tomorrow part 1, and you can anguish over what will make it into the movie versus what “crucial the the story line” elements were  cut from the novel due to time constraints, and you can argue among your peers over how wrong the studios casting of whatever bullshit characters that sucked in the the first place were, and you can carry AAALLLL that baggage with you..

or

You can sit down with Red Hill, a movie with a beginning, a middle, and an end. You can be enjoy it for what it is and then pleasantly go about the rest of your day.

We say fuck Percy Warhammer, and the fuckers from a new tomorrow he rode in on.

 

 

 

Let’s Get Delirious!

2009’s The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle, intricately directed by David Russo, is a viewing experience that falls somewhere in between Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Little Miss Sunshine.

After getting fired from his nice office job, Dory ( played by Marshall Allman from True Blood) ponders life while slumming it as a night janitor.  At his new job he meets a spastic clown prince of loserdom, fellow janitor O.C ( played by Vince Vieluf , whom IMDb swankily refers to as the hardest working actor in Hollywood). The janitors come across some some addictive test market cookies with side effects as surreal as the day is long.

Then all heck and gosh darnits trickle loose in a turn for the weird. You want existentialism? This movie is just dripping with it. You want ass fish? This movie HAS ass fish!

The slick visuals, fun editing, scrappy acting, and mysteriously funny story line kinda sorta, sorta kinda, kinda kinda sorta,  swirl around together and build up to an operatic like crescendo that’s unique enough to make you feel like you’ve discovered something, and accessible enough to make you want to share it with others.

From start to finish, Little Dizzle is just pure fuckin’ Gucci.

 

 

 

What You’re Listening To In 2012: Zeus

This here Zeus band, they’re a four piece group from Canada that plays with the kind of carefree attitude one would have to have in order to sound like The Kinks without looking like posers or seeming pretentious.

Their latest album, Busting Visions, is a fun diddy that stops just short of being rowdy. This is the album you can put on at your barbecue, at your poker game, and while playing croquette and drinking champagne.

There’s Gomorrah, and Then There’s Everything Else

Winner of the 2008 Cannes Film Festival, Gomorrah tells five stories of individuals who think they can make an impact with Italy’s mafia, the Camorra.

Robert Saviano wrote the best selling book that inspired the movie, by going undercover and using informants. He named names, accounted for precise details, and now lives under permanent police protection after numerous threats linked to “godfathers” of the Neapolitan crime family.

Director Matteo Garrone uses a bleak and lean documentary style that leaves the viewer feeling like they are a part of the landscape as the dread patiently unfolds.

You wont come away from Gomorrah with movie quotes or characters you can imitate at your next social gathering. To watch Gomorrah is to absorb Gomorrah, similar to way one takes in fine art at a museum.