Pitch Perfect Animal Kingdom

After his mother dies, 17 year old Joshua “J” Cody ( a very solid James Frencheville) now has to live with his criminal family members whom he has not seen in years.  This family consists of his grandmother, sociopathically played by Jackie Weaver, who was nominated for an academy award for this role, and her four sons, J’s uncles.  The uncles have a varied emotional range, and are being investigated by the Armed Robbery Squad led by Sgt. Nathan Leckie ( Guy Pearce).

The story, written and directed by David Michod, who also wrote a sizzling film we reviewed a while back called Hesher, sucks you in stays with you. Subtle acting all around, deft camera work and editing, a slow building intensity, and certain elements that are left to the viewer’s interpretation, this winner of the 2010 Sundance Film Festival does exactly what it should.

“You’ve done some bad things, sweetie”



Well What Say We Rapitates About Super, huh boy?

Fry cook Frank Darbo’s ( Rainn Wilson) wife Sarah ( Liv Tyler) falls off the wagon and leaves him for a twitchy coke spazz named Jock ( Kevin Bacon is doing acting again) Frank does what he can to get her back  but her ass is way too funky with the junk.  Frank sobs himself into the couch with his favorite Christian super hero program, and has this nightmare of an epiphany.

Why not piece together a raggedy costume and fuck up evil doers with god damn wrench?

Ellen Page, playing to her, ahem, “strengths”( the beauty of this statement, is that after you see this film you’ll realize that this both a compliment and an insult. Hey muchachos, don’t get us wrong, we’re fully committed to someday raunching  Ellen Page up the walls and through the ceiling) and begs Frank/ The Crimson Bolt to be his sidekick with all the charm and subtlety of an arthritic sucking on a lightning bolt.

Fun for the whole family vigilantism ensues, and cue the birthday cake.

At this point it may not surprise you to know that the film has its flaws.  The first half hour, doesn’t really have a flow to it, it doesn’t move the way it probably should. Now, given this film as a whole, one could look at this clunkiness as a cleansing of the cinematic palate.  The absurdity picks up steam as the film rolls along .At about the point where Ellen’s sidekick character, Bolty, rapes Rainn’s Crimson Bolt, you’ll want to walk away, but you’re not going to be able to.

Super becomes both too serious to be funny, and too funny to be serious. Some real heart is displayed by the time the end credits roll. Any movie that doesn’t give a fuck to the point where it genuinely risks having any sort of audience at all is just aces in our book.

Super does not give one singular fuck.

The CDT Crew is Too Funky For Dynamite

These snack cake consultants and EPMD enthusiasts have a youtube channel than can aptly be described as ‘doper than dogshit’. Their uploads consist of media clips from a forgotten realm, spliced together to form a biblical code of new wave mutations.

Specializing in advanced party flomping, they invented a drink containing champagne, absinthe, and a wink of the eye.



Fuck Abraham Lincoln

The trailer for Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is more than a little bit guilty of coming on too strong. On a second viewing, what appears to be a fun enough premise reveals itself  to be a hot ghetto CGI disaster.

For our discerning tastes and delicate sensibilities, well gladly take 2002’s Bubba Ho-Tep, because when Ossie Davis says he’s JFK…

we want to believe him.



What You’re Listening To In 2012: Swiss Lips

Sure these guys sound more like Passion Pit than what’s currently allowed by the FDA, but what the fuck else are you going to do with your February?

Swiss Lips makes the kind of guilty pleasure European synth pop that’s good enough to make the music slut in you respect yourself in the morning. So what you do is, you gets on the phone, and you makes the phone calls, and you ask the peoples ” is Swiss Lips going to be on the Coachella? is Swiss Lips going to be on the Bonaroo?”

and the answer better not be no

What You’re Listening To IN 2012: Charles Bradley

The Screaming Eagle of Soul is here to save music.

This sixty something year old Brooklynite has a life to his voice that hints at the legacy of the great soul singers of the past. The fun doesn’t stop there, as the first single on his 2011 album No Time For Dreaming, contains the following lyric:

‘this world is going up in flames, and nobody wanna take the blame’

and that…is as right now as right now gets.